"My goal in life? To make other people unhappy"

A speech by Lupina Crooper on the bitterness of Mr Dalek:

I don’t hate him. I pity him. Not for what he is now, but for what he will someday become. Because when that day comes, he will be old, and sitting in a bashed up chair in some retirement home. And, d’you know what? THEN he’ll be sorry. Because all his nastiness will have come back around and hit him in the face. He’ll be bitter, twisted and alone. And, well, guess what? NO-ONE will care. Isn’t that sad? I think it’s so sad. No-one should get dealt a hand like that in life, but that is what he has given himself. He’s on a mission, alright - not to make other people unhappy, but just himself.

It surely is a masterpiece.

What does "Oissmaigawdissuenicorn" mean?

I don't know either, but someone who goes by that name has left a really BITCHY comment on my blog.

So, as the Mafia, we need to make them an offer that they can't refuse, as it were. Hmm, I've got my revolver all ready in my violin case...

OK

Here is how it goes:

I am a Cockney Bitch and also Don Carbonara.

Rosie is a Cockney Pimp and Don Tagliatele.

Aimee is a Cockney Ragamuffin from the streets of Kentish Town, and also runs the Triads.

Adam is a camp hairdresser called Isaac who is a general Mafia bitch and also may be dying of Plymouth Disease.

And... I wasn't at school today. I was savaged by a rabid cat.

The sad truth is that I am only half joking.

We're the Mafia.

Yeah! I have actually got a revolver in a violin case.
Well, it's a water pistol actually, but shut up.

HEATH LEDGER IS DEAD! What the hell?
Aww he was really fit too.

Hmmph. If David or Noel ever died I would be aghast. I would wear all black, and be in a state of constant mourning.

Anyway, bye Mafia pals.