"My goal in life? To make other people unhappy"

A speech by Lupina Crooper on the bitterness of Mr Dalek:

I don’t hate him. I pity him. Not for what he is now, but for what he will someday become. Because when that day comes, he will be old, and sitting in a bashed up chair in some retirement home. And, d’you know what? THEN he’ll be sorry. Because all his nastiness will have come back around and hit him in the face. He’ll be bitter, twisted and alone. And, well, guess what? NO-ONE will care. Isn’t that sad? I think it’s so sad. No-one should get dealt a hand like that in life, but that is what he has given himself. He’s on a mission, alright - not to make other people unhappy, but just himself.

It surely is a masterpiece.

What does "Oissmaigawdissuenicorn" mean?

I don't know either, but someone who goes by that name has left a really BITCHY comment on my blog.

So, as the Mafia, we need to make them an offer that they can't refuse, as it were. Hmm, I've got my revolver all ready in my violin case...

I have noticed

Anyway. I haven't really noticed much over the last couple of days tbh I've been to busy procastinating.


Their's a plate next to me with only jam on it. Cause it slipped out of the Hot Jam Roll. I mean really! What on EARTH do I pay these people for?

Hattz is obsessed with becoming the moon, it's a bit disturbing but I will soldier on anyway, ignoring her weird habits.

Me and Aimz are considering leaving school. I mean, it's just too stressful and quite frankly I have enough pressure at school without Mr Dalek breathing down my neck. Or in this case Hattz's as he tried to give her a detention for not plugging in a Laptop.

The Rebel. I mean really...

Anyway, that's all thats occupying my brain today although I imagine I should be concentrating on my English speaking tomorrow.

But for Christssake, my O,M AND T button aren't working. I have to copy and paste those letters. How in God's name am I supposed to write about The Song Of the Old Mother.


Skillaty.


ding, dang, dooo

x

I just thought...

If you are cool and read my other blog then you will know about the 'babes of 2008' thing I blogged about.

Well, I think we are the cool kids of 2008.



Blates.

You may infact say it is a fat-cat.

WOW!

OMFG! lyk! w00t! OMG!??!?/1?!??!?

Yes. That was my chav impression for the day. Yes, I am available for Bar Mitzvahs, Weddings, Funerals etc.

Anyway, I went to Coventry today with my muzzer and well, I FOUND POLO'S IN A BAG!

WHAT A FIND! Their I was casually walking along, pretending not to know my muzzer as she had just spend about £15 buying lots of birdfood stuff (She may become a twitcher, I'm a bit scared) becuase she wants to attract more birds to the garden and then I saw a shop where they had POLOS in a bag.

And if you love the Mighty Boosh, you have to love polo's. It's a fact and everything.


Ooh er Missus, I just thought of a new word instead of fact, we should say...fat-cat!

Erm yesh. Genius.

I will hasten to leave before I think of new words and ways to embarass myself. I had to restrain myself from buying a Tardis model kit today.


Ahem.


xxxxxxxxx

Ireland

Heya everyone!

It's midnight....and I'm still up! Yay! I'm in Cork (Ireland) with my family, and we're looking through old pictures which are kinda embarassing to say the least. It's like, "What was I WEARING????". We went to K.C.s, which sells all kindsa junk food, like burgers and kebabs and stuff. If we had them here, Jamie Oliver would have a head fit. I swear. It's AMAZING!

On other points, CONGRATULATIONS!!! to Hattz for gaining a merit certificate today! (I can't remember whether it was 100 or 200, but well done anyway!)

Am absoloutely wreaked now, so goodnight!!

A xxx

Yeah and you know what? I KNOW she's not joking. Hattz, I feel very sorry for you.....I feel your literal pain.

I went to see the SG (old school) panto today. Twas quite good in a weird kinda way. The jokes were obviously lame, but ah well.

I left my phone at school. Idiot.

I saw pics of Hattz when she was at our old school! Adorable as GK in netball!!

My bro comes back from wales tomorrow. Never mind. Twas good while it lasted.

Thank god its nearly the weekend!!

A xxx

OK

Here is how it goes:

I am a Cockney Bitch and also Don Carbonara.

Rosie is a Cockney Pimp and Don Tagliatele.

Aimee is a Cockney Ragamuffin from the streets of Kentish Town, and also runs the Triads.

Adam is a camp hairdresser called Isaac who is a general Mafia bitch and also may be dying of Plymouth Disease.

And... I wasn't at school today. I was savaged by a rabid cat.

The sad truth is that I am only half joking.

WTF??

Just in case your wondering......Me Hattz and Ro decided today that whilst I was a cockney ragamuffin, and Hattz and Rosie were some other types of cockney sluts that i have forgotten. Adam was a gay hairdresser from London and he was called Isaac.

Damn right.

me and rosie wrote hattz a letter during choir which said something like: greetings.........I am the ruler of the mafia, your blates is not!

Ha ha gutted!!

And Aimz says that the triads will get you.

And the Taliban
And the senior prefects
And the lost boys
and the beatles
and the choir
and the daleks
and the mafia
and david's stalker
and Jack and Vera from Corrie

Yeah mate.

Moving on.



I'm going skiing during half term with rosie for a week. Me, my brother AND my dad all have to share ONE small suitcase. That INCLUDES ski jackets and the other bulky stuff. I need that much space for my OWN stuff, eg girly things like straighteners and make up and homework.

I am not ashamed to say that YES i will be a geek and do my coursework on holiday.

I hope everyone enjoyed my post on my own blog. I shall post the majority of it here, as it describes me quite well:





me!. tall. was once blond but am not anymore. sob. shortish hair now. sob. juggles. eragon. peter pan. stravaganza. inkheart. alex rider. wind in the willows. lyra. CHERUB. skiing. lapland. december. hattz. rosie. 134. xmas. chocolate. paranoia. rabbit. sleep. coursework. babysitting. pasta. reading. french. music. sing. dance. be merry. bike. scuba diving. swim. gymnastics. horseriding. teacher. doctor. dt. fittie. Aidan. drama. blue remembered hills. syg. oliver. little shop of horrors. barnum. still can't unicycle. 8 years later. ipod. soli house. cry. emma. smile. affirmation. sob. gcses. dolphin. Ireland. norway. witch. 0s and xs. NARNIA. susan. cadbury's magic elves. les misérables. hot callumn dance. camping. kayakking. wet feet. riverdance. ghd. stardust. 200 merits. thunderbirds. stingray. karate. Bebo. Justine. monty python. mop. S Club 7. Da Vinci Code. sarah. peer mentoring. pizza express. jabberwockey. fleeces. Eucharistic. DoE. Liverpool. masks. egypt. space. Enid Blyton. rings. WWII. Yr 6. St Gregs. Fete. stocks. Caveman. Lourdes. soup. pancakes. Stations. Cross. hot. Tara. Beatrix Potter. Harry. panto. Disney. Orlando. Sims. Shakespeare. Hamlet. Drayton Manor. Touchwood. prom. FRIENDS. E4. Shakeaways. DS lite. Series of Unfortunate Events. Power of 5. Godmother. Laura. manouk. max. cameron. sam. ashley. me.






A xxx

PS. I would S- Noel Fielding, M-David Tennant, and C-Richard Hammond.

U?

We're the Mafia.

Yeah! I have actually got a revolver in a violin case.
Well, it's a water pistol actually, but shut up.

HEATH LEDGER IS DEAD! What the hell?
Aww he was really fit too.

Hmmph. If David or Noel ever died I would be aghast. I would wear all black, and be in a state of constant mourning.

Anyway, bye Mafia pals.

Details....Details

Fine. It's actually his left hand.


Whatever.

I really hope I don't get sued for this. You know.....you start something off but after a bit you start to think "I may actually get killed for this".


Oh yeah, and I found a new game to play.

Shag, Cruise and Marry. Choose 3 people and choose which one you shag, which one you marry and which one you go on a cruise with. Me and hattz did it with Noel Fielding, David Tennant and Richard Hammond.

Hmm guess how that went!

ANDI PETERS. WHAT A LEG-END

Andi with fellow Children's BBC hosts Toby Anstis, Philip Schofield and Andy Crane

Notice in this shot there's no animosity between Crane and Peters (something that would change in later years)

Ahem. Look at the tv host who is on the far left. And now where his right hand is. Ahem.

And poor Andi Peters...that's all I can say

Ooh Matron.

Hello. I think I owe you dudes a post. So this is it.

I sincerely hope that Adam's Plymouth disease has not infected us. (Oo-er).

Saw Hot Calum t'other day, he was filming me. And the rest of the cast of Chicago, but still, I WAS ON THE FRONT ROW SO BASICALLY HE WAS JUST FILMING ME DOING THE DANCE TO "ALL THAT JAZZ".

So don't spoil it.

Jazz shoes really aren't that attractive. Whoever designed them should have given some thought to the fact that one day Hot Calum would talk to me when I was wearing them. Fantastic. My chances of marriage may be ruined now, all because of utilitarian shoes.

Bye dudes, duds and Hot Calums.

Hattie

Be on the bus tomorrow. Me and Aimée have a tradition to discuss with you missus.


xxxxxx

MY TURN!

Sorry, but that post was TOTALLY sick!

HOW??? could she have done that? bleugh!

anyway, I'm going to RF's tonight to discuss skiing. We're going to Norway in Feb, with our families and our friend CY, whose family is also going. Unfortunately, none of the mothers are going because they would probably make fools of themselves. like i'm going to.

Have i mentioned that the only skiing I've done is on a dry-ski slope made of rope?

Anyway....gtg now coz hwk is piling up again and I've got a bacon sarnie waiting!

A xx

Women Jailed For TESTICLE ATTACK

Woman jailed for testicle attack

A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.

She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours." (Oh really? I thought it was Terry Brandons....hadn't even noticed it was missing...)

Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years.

'Pulled hard'

Sentencing Monti, Judge Charles James said it was "a very serious injury" and that Monti was not acting in self-defence.

The court heard that Mr Jones had ended his long-term but "open relationship" with Monti towards the end of May last year.

The pair remained on good terms and on 30 May she picked him up from a party in Crosby and went back for drinks with friends at Mr Jones's house.

An argument ensued and Mr Jones said there was a struggle between them.

In his statement, Mr Jones said she grabbed his genitals and "pulled hard".

I am in no way a violent person Pfft! Amanda Monti

He added: "That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain." (I wonder why...)

The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr Jones's testicle into her mouth and try to swallow it.

She choked and spat it back into her hand URGH!!! before the friend (What a great friend!)grabbed it and gave it back to Mr Jones (Their you go mate.....have your testicle back...). Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ.

In a letter to the court, Monti said she was sorry for what she had done.

She said: "It was never my intention to cause harm to Geoff and the fact that I have caused him injury will live with me forever. I am in no way a violent person." Yeah okay! All of us 'non-violent' people go around pulling off testicles

The letter added: "I have challenged myself to explain what has happened but still I just cannot remember. This has caused much anguish to me and will do for the rest of my life." Well....yeah! You pulled off a testicle and put it in your MOUTH! Lots of mouthwash for you M'Dear......

Urgh. Urgh. Urgh.

Hi guys :)

Hope your all fab. You all were when I saw you yesterday. You've probably heard about that BA plane that crashed at Heathrow and I'm really glad that everybody was safe and everything but I also find it really funny that it was actually the co-pilot that landed the plane under such difficult circumstances and his name is Mr Coward.

BAHAHAHA.

Oh and I was bored last night so I made that picture thing at the side but you can see it better on my blog.

xxxxxxxxx

Um.

It is now Aimee's turn.

Yes, I know.

Oh dearie me

I'm really really really really concerned.

"sex drugz ,rock n roll ,,,,,speed . weed n birth control ...shake ur arse. wear are thong ...time 2 party alnight long ....down a shot , drink alot ...ryde a guy u think is hot ...life is great sex is heaven ....we're the babes of "2008""

Dear God. This is what us good ole'teenagers have come too. It's actually quite depressing.

I guess I can't be a babe. I'm gutted. I can't be a 'babe of 2008', I'm going to have to tell my parents that they failed in the upbringing of me.

-I don't have sex
- I don't drink AT ALL (I actually hate the taste)
- I do like a bit of rock and roll though
- Nope. No weed. Unless it counts the one's you pull up in the garden. I don't think they do. GUTTED.
- No birth control
- No thongs
- No partying allnight long. Allthough on New Years Eve, me and Aimée decided to play Laserquest at like half twelve, cause we're er...cool ;)
- No drinking shots
- No drinking alcohol
- No 'ryding a guy who is hot'

I have clearly failed somewhere in my education. The government should be heckled on such matters.

IM FAILING.

Chicago!!

Woo! chicago rehearsals started yesterday! I am HURTING from doing the splits in Cell Block Tango, and I have to speak HUNGARIAN:
HUNYAK (Spoken):
Mit keresek, én itt? Azt mondják,hogy a híres lakem lefogta a férjemet én meg lecsaptam a fejét. De nem igaz, én ártatlan vagyok. Nem tudom miért mondja Uncle Sam, hogy én tettem. Probáltama rendõrségen megmagyarázni de nem értették meg...

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?? If we have any Hungarian readers (Rosie speaks Hungarian) please translate for me!

But I don't think anyone reads this thing anymore...

Um. I must take my leave as.... WOW, SHE IS A HUNGARIAN CHAV! LOOK: en itt!!!!!!

Wow, I like her a lot more now.
Toodles (damn it!)

Exactly.


Somehow, having been back at school for only 4 days, I am already exhausted and have aquired a backlog of homework which I swear is grinning at me.











I wish I could just crawl back into my nice warm bed and hibernate until April.......























At least that way I'll miss most of my coursework deadlines.






By way of DT, apparently it has now been confirmed that he is dating Bethan Britton - a blonde tv assistant. He was also voted the sexiest man of 2007!!! wooo!

Also, check this out.....http://news.uk.msn.com/Article.aspx?cp-documentid=7216563.


How freaky is that???




R and H, we NEED TO TALK.







Anyway I have to go dahlinks, as my homework is now sending me evils which are infuriating me, so I must go and sort it out.






Bye!

A xxx

Ahem

Ahem.


School was not a barrelfull of laughs. Instead was a henious torture trap.

Quite.

Alriiight?

Hey guys, school tomorrow. So that will, I'm sure, be a right ol' laugh for all involved.

Ahem. Yes.

So hopefully we can have a reunion rave on the bus, and annoy EVERYONE, and we can use our fave quote, courtesy of Emilie the Chav in the summer term of '07:

"WILL YOU STOP BEING SO BLOODY WEIRD!".

Some people are so very charming, aren't they.

You guys had better post, or I will send you to Coventry, or hold you in contempt of court, or whatever. Anyway. Toodles.

Damn. I promised myself I would never say that. Ah well, that's all my new years resolutions broken then.

Snow (Part 3)

Unfortunately it did not snow as predicted and eagerly anticipated. However that is a good thing in my eyes. If it snows now, then that means that it will not snow next week, therefore not delaying our return to school.

Damn met office.

I went bowling today and had 4 games with my dad and brother. I won the last game! I came last in the other 3.

I am going to do 2 posts today, one which i was rudely interrupted in the other day, which I am going to finish now (meaning about 5 mins).

We are (hopefully) going to see St Trinian's tomorrow. I don't like Russel Brand. He let a live rat live in his hair for a month. It made a nest and poo-ed all over his head. The idiot didn't even wash his hair during that month for fear that the rat would drown. Eventually the poor thing died.
No wonder.

I have got to do some revision, eat, shower, and go babysitting now.........toodlepip!

mmmmmm........fruitpips*..................

A xxx

* see our individual blogs - about september/october/november time

Snow (part 2)

T'will not snow tomorrow. It never does. I could probably compose a short poem about this. Or I could just swear my tits off.

I have just watched series 1 & 2 of the Mighty Boooooosh...

Yes mate. It is as cold as the arctic tundra. And I would like some soup, soup, a tasty soup... And Noel Fielding is hot. Very much so. Mm hot. Hot Calum hot? Oh baby.

Bye my darlinks.

SNOW!!

we are predicted SNOW tomorrow!

yesss.

now is it actually going to appear?

probably not.,



hmmmmph.

Anyway guys we should all meet up soon?

yes?

Go see St.Trinian's and whatnot.

LOVE;ROSIE

bytheway; by tomorrow I mean Thursday, the third of JANUARY 2008!